- Mood:
Isolated - Listening to: Silence.
- Reading: Box-openings, looking at what I cant have
- Watching: -
- Playing: -
- Eating: -
- Drinking: -
...Seems the only time I update here is when I'm depressed or just needing a place to write where nobody cares about it.
Either way. I have no luck:
I've ordered something incredibly expensive.. really expensive.. And I havent ever EVER had a problem with Canada post before... Guess this is a time to start.
The sender put the wrong address. It got to the city now, but I havent a clue where it is. "On hold" it says.. on hold..where..
And ofcourse, since its a part of my doll, I have to obsess over it. *bad move.. because everyone just rolls their eyes at me.. Talk about belittling.. What, I cant have something to sing about? Seems like it.*
I wouldnt mind something that makes me happy, a material something.. Not money, or some fancycomputer to own everything in its path.
No, I want something like my doll, WHo I am currently building to my likings. I want THAT ..I cant be happy about him and talk about him because I;m obsessed.. It hurts, really.
We all have a hobby we like, let it be collecting action figures, or video games, or Miniatures that cost more than they're worth.
I have my BJD, they have their other things. They talk about their hobby, And I cant?
They sigh, and say things like "Oh that DOLL again, Huh." Sure I like to talk about him. Hes my boy. I love him, Why would I pay 700$ for something I hated.
(Yes yes, I didnt pay the full 700...)
Some times I just wanna go sleep, and dream about somethings I cant have, make it seem like they're here.
ANother thing I've realized, I get depressed around the christmas season, I'm curious as to why. Though I'd never tell someone about it. Hell, I dont even know why.
I must have a chemical imbalance in my head thats causing this.
They dont happen all the time. I just have a moment where I just wanna say Fuck you to everything that I come across and hide myself.
This feels like Last year again. Where did my happines go? THis has to be a part of "Growing Up"